Back in the summer of 1987, I spent
a week in Los Angeles attending a film workshop at the American Film Institute.
Aside from my AFI experience, it was a week I will never forget for two
particular reasons. I was mugged and I saw Tracey Ullman perform live on
"The Tracey Ullman Show".
I had intended to drive to Los
Angeles from my home in Vancouver, British Columbia but my rusty 1976 B210
Datsun kicked the bucket 3 weeks before I left. Seeing as I was on a student
budget, the only alternative transportation available to me was Greyhound
bus. I left Saturday morning, August 1st, 1987 at 7:00AM and after a day
and a half of screaming babies, a cramped seat with constant knees in my
back and grimy bus terminal cafes, I arrived in downtown Los Angeles on
a late balmy Sunday afternoon. Why do the Greyhound bus terminals always
end up being located in the dregs of town? I had made a booking at the
YMCA Youth Hostel in Hollywood which I knew was just a little north of
downtown. Being the naive 20 year old kid from the Pacific Northwest that
I was, I trekked outside looking for public transit to take me to that
land of movie stars. 5 minutes after I left the station, I was shoved up
against a wall and separated from my wallet which carried all my ID, money
and ticket home. It was such a slick maneuver that I didn't know if he
was slamming against me on purpose or he just didn't know where he was
going. The perpetrator was gone before I could fathom what had happened!
Welcome to LA!
I wearily returned to the bus station
to seek help and explained my story to a police officer who just shook
his head and directed me towards the Customer Service Counter. There, I
learned that muggings and pickpocketings are a regular occurrence in the
downtown core and that there really wasn't much they could do to help me.
The lady did agree to cash two of my traveler's cheques though. So with
$60, I hopped the next Greyhound for a 10 minute ride to Tinseltown.
When I arrived at the hostel, I
was told that I had no booking and that the hostel was full. Pretty desperate
now, I eventually managed to score a hovel in the condemned wing. I could
see the Roosevelt Hotel from my window and pretended that my room was just
an extension.
Two days consisting of the culinary
tastes of Taco Haven and a sleepout in the back lane of Bela Lugosi's Hollywood
home ended with the receipt of mom's Western Union Wire. Free to be a little
more liberal with my expenses and thus enjoy my trip, I trekked down Hollywood
Blvd, south to Melrose, up Highland and down Sunset Blvd. ending up at
the Paramount Studios. To my pleasant surprise, I noticed a booth advertising
"Free Tickets to TV shows". So I stepped up to take a gander.
"Well, it would be kind of fun to see a taping of a real live TV show",
I thought to myself. "Hmmm, a wall of tickets? 227. Married With Children.
Valerie's Family with Sandy Duncan. Do I really need to miss a night of
classes for this? I don't think so." But wait. Suddenly the music
swells and you see a steel eyed sheen engulf my visage. Cut to the ticket
window in a succession of zooming jump cuts a la Godard, culminating in
a full screen capture of a gleaming golden ticket. I rub my eyes thinking
maybe that Bela Lugosi sleepover was getting the best of me. But no, I
am not dreaming. There sits a ticket announcing a taping this Friday of
a new Comedy Variety series from the creators of "Taxi" and the
writers of "Cheers", "The Tracey Ullman Show" starring
Tracey Ullman and Julie Kavner. Trying to be cool and not look like the
big Tracey fan that I am, I ask the attendant offhandedly,. "Can I
have one of those golden tickets...what does it say..."The Tracey
Ullman Show?....heard anything about it?......good show?..... I suppose
it's worth a try." The little old man just shrugged and said something
to the effect that he just hands the tickets out. I walked away numb with
excitement.
Friday finally came and I was determined
to get to the Fox Studios early, just in case the worst of the worst happened
and I didn't get in. I skipped the last two hours of my final day of class
with the intention of getting to the 20th Century Fox Studios at least
2 hours before the taping. The first bus dropped me off amid the foreboding
silence of the Century City office towers and the second bus somewhere
just off Pico blvd. From there, I walked about a mile down the southern
border of the Fox Studios to the main gate where I was told by the guard
to wait for at least a half hour. Eventually people started piling through
so I joined in with the crowd and made my way to a lineup that had already
formed outside the soundstage. I couldn't figure out how these people managed
to get in ahead of me but seeing as they looked like a hip, thirtysomething
crowd out for a night of theatre, I figured that they must be industry
insiders. I couldn't imagine, somehow, expecting, a similar crowd at the
"Valerie's Family" taping. Within minutes, I could hear the band
warming up and shortly thereafter we were escorted to our seats. I was
seated on the left side adjacent to the band in the second row. Not bad
actually. At least here, I could get a good peek at all the backstage hoopla.
They brought on one of those "up and coming comedians" to work
the audience and tell us when to laugh, when to clap etc. Somehow, I thought
this was a little demeaning. Those that really appreciate Tracey Ullman,
her talent and the insightful scripts she interprets shouldn't require
egging on to show effusive approval. But, I suppose it's a required element
of TV live audience filmings and also necessary to give the performers
the energy to be top notch on camera.
I first recognized Sam McMurray
who was milling around smoking in "Gulliver Dark" fashion. Then
Julie Kavner made her way onto the upstage area, at first peeking around
the corner and then shyly shuffling over to the dark sidewall. You got
the feeling she was a visitor trying not to get in the way, unassuming
and down to earth. Then, as the stage area quickly erupted with crew and
visitors, Tracey, dressed as Kiki-Howard-Smith appeared along with Dan
Castellaneta's, Dr. Gibson. They were in the back, behind the set casually
chatting with various staff members. Between conversations, Tracey would
jump up and down in true Kiki character and then return to being Tracey
when someone else would approach her. The whole scene made for a curious
voyeuristic experience. I almost felt like I was intruding.
Moments later, it was clear the
show was ready to roll. We were introduced to all the players, Dan, Sam,
Julie and then Tracey. I can't quite remember if Joe Malone was there or
not. Dan Castellenata made his way over to the set and settled in to "Dr.
Gibson" mode. Tracey entered as "Kiki" and made her way
through the scene. There was a strange disassociation between the audience
and the sketch being filmed. We were there to enjoy it but couldn't really
focus due to all the distraction surrounding the actors. I soon adapted
to this "live audience" TV thing and removed all premonitions
of a theatrical experience from my mind. The sketch detailed Kiki's sexual
neuroses and Dr. Gibson's success in helping her find instant cures. Or
so she thought. Quite a funny sketch and probably a situation many people
could relate to.
After a couple of successful takes,
the actors were released to their dressing rooms for a costume change while
the crew prepared for a scene change. A bright suburban kitchen was pieced
together in a matter of moments and soon Tracey was back on the set dressed
entirely in black and punk rock wig. The costume seemed a strange choice
for someone who lived in such a cheerful, domestic setting. I was expecting
Betty Crocker to turn up. What followed was the best sketch of the night.
Tracey played a stressed out housewife who couldn't decide what colour
to paint the kitchen. Well she did finally decide and illustrated this
by launching into a spirited version of that old classic "Rolling
Stones" tune, "Paint It Black". This was no holds barred
as Tracey gave it her all, painting, singing, jumping. The scene was cut
in the middle of their kitchen rampage and the set dutifully dismounted.
What followed was the longest gap of the night. Black walls, black cupboards,
black kitchen appliances and black plastic fruit were all added to deathly
effect.
During this scene change, I experienced
quite a special moment. Tracey was walking around by herself looking down
at the floor just behind the set on my side of the stage. I wasn't sure
whether or not she was going over the last scene or she was preparing for
what was to follow, but she seemed very introspective. The "warmup
guy" was telling jokes at this time so the audience's attention was
on him. I just watched her and after a few minutes she lifted her head
and looked towards the audience at my level. I smiled and she reciprocated
with a smile. Now I'm not saying she smiled because of me but when I took
a casual glance left and another right, I'm telling you, I was the only
one looking at her. I must say it gave me quite a lift at the time. But
in retrospect, I realize I should have been paying attention to the "warmup
comedian" and not distracting Tracey with my staring. Well, if he
had been funny maybe I would have.
After about a half hour of scene
changes, the final 30 seconds of the sketch was filmed and Tracey returned
to her dressing room. Another long scene change ended with the obnoxious
return of Tracey and Julie as "Meg" and "Tina". They
were loud, abrasive and obviously playing off of each other. Tracey didn't
break character from the moment she arrived on stage til one special distracting
moment from the audience. I remember very little of the sketch but it had
something to do with Meg getting married and her trip to a jewelery store
with Tina. What I do remember most of all was Julie, who had to refilm
her scenes twice because she kept calling Tracey's character who was Tina,
Meg.
During one break the "warmup
comedian" in a whispered tone asked the audience to announce on the
count of three, "WE LOVE YOU TRACEY!". And that we did, resulting
in the first interaction with Tracey that night. She broke character and
responded in true "Tracey" fashion with a big "I LOVE YOU
TOO!". It was kind of cute really. I suppose you would have had to
have been there. After the completion of the sketch and a final set change,
Tracey returned in her trademark bathrobe, recounted one of her amusing
stories and we were sent home with a particularly boisterous, "Go
Home!". Tracey disappeared and I obliged to her request and left the
studio in high spirits.
I made my way up Pico blvd. recounting
the evening over and over again in my head. Because I was returning to
Vancouver, BC the next day, I tried to put the whole week into perspective.
I came to the summation that what should have been one of the most horrendous
journey's of my life really turned out to be one of the most inspirational.
I returned home with my "mugging" memories, my AFI training,
and my night at "The Tracey Ullman Show" with the determined
effort to create a short film which would derive from all of these experiences.
And that I did. I won 3rd prize at the British Columbia Student Festival
the following April. Thanks Trace!
